All I wanted...

All I wanted...

There is me standing at your door with my heart for you,

My heart aches, wanting your acceptance

Tears roll down my cheeks, waiting for your hand to wipe

Bruises in my heart need your tender touch

There is me standing at your door with my heart for you.

You say you will always be there for me, then why can’t I find you when I need you the most

You say you understand me well, then why are you not here when I want to share

You say I am strong, wise and smart, then why do I need your shoulder today

Open the door to my heart, let it enter and stay with you for a while

Coz when you open the door you find me standing, with my heart for you.

PS: Just a poem, no sympathy required :)

Eat, Work, Sanitize

Feels like it’s been more than a month into the new reality of lockdown, and the lines between work and home have started to blur into one. In the initial days of lockdown, everything still looked a bit novel and interesting, to check on how our parents are doing or how are our friends coping with it. But later it struck to me that we’re going to be living grounded for a few more days or months not knowing when this will end or when our lives will revert to how it was earlier. It’s like a bad song stuck on your head and you can’t get it out. You hum it even when you don’t want to….

Part of the difficulty is that we don’t know when this will end or when our lives will revert to some sense of normalcy. Working from the office gives a very different mindset to that of when we work from our home. However bad life may seem, we always find a ray of hope, and one of the good thing about quarantine is that we reconnected with old friends whom we haven’t talked in years. It’s great!

Last week, most of the days I stayed in bed until nearly 10:00 AM, staying up until 3 AM watching a documentary on Netflix, allowing myself to be shocked and bamboozled into another episode, convincing myself for just one more episode. I knew that before the constant procrastination sets in, I need to have a routine. Not overly-planned with details of every minute but something basic like a wake-up time, working hours, time for self-care and bedtime. For me, it looks like…

6 AM – Out of bed

6 AM to 8 AM – Me time(Mostly writing or reading something interesting)

9 AM to 6 PM – Work hours

7 PM – Exercise/Yoga

9 PM to 10 PM – Socializing/Video Calls with family and friends

12 AM – Hit the sack

I thank God that I have a balcony, where I can sit with a cup of coffee and work while enjoying the beautiful weather, sometimes ;)  (Hyderabad doesn’t bless you with pleasant weather during summers).

But here are a few pics...

When I wake up in the morning I hear dry leaves rustling and birds chirping. These are the lines comes to mind and I would like to share with all

“Sun shining bright and the still sound of cool breeze blows over my face. Listening to birds singing hymns, I tell my mind to be at ease  as nature is healing itself and me.”

Look for something which inspires and motivates you every day. Stay positive, safe and healthy.

What's Normal?

It’s been long that I haven’t written anything. Today I started feeling lonely as if I am missing something. I was thinking about this emptiness all day. Is it because I miss my family?  Or do I miss my friends? Should I call them? It was none of these as I still felt the same. Feeling of missing something for long.

Sometimes you don’t need to think too deep, the answer is just lying beside you shut down or may be closed in some drawer. Just need to open our diary or laptop and start writing, whatever you want, start with the thought that’s running in mind currently. Initially, we all feel lost but eventually, we all sort things out.

I have been thinking a lot about normality lately. How do we define normal? Is the definition of being normal based on the perception of what is normal to society. Does normal signify to what we see the most or absence of significant suffering?

What we see or consider as normal could be completely odd to others. Normal doesn’t mean "free of discomfort”, it is not the equivalent of oblivious. No one can conclude what’s the right thing to be done and that the right situation to change. We come from different backgrounds, different upbringings, and families. If we don’t agree with something that others like, it doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with us. We’re all entitled to our opinions and tastes. The idea of ‘normal’ is mainly shaped by social standards. The normal emotional gamut or an outburst of adolescence and adulthood is treated as a problem and expect drugs to fix it. It’s okay to feel sad because you caught your mate cheating on you or to grow anxious because you can't pay your bills. It’s okay to be bored and restless because your job underutilizes you. It’s not unhealthy and doesn’t require any medical attention. Most of the time people fear being their self, they wear the mask which is acceptable by the society because if you don’t do so you’re considered to be an outcast or labeled as weird. The definition of ‘normal’ varies from one person to another. Until a few decades ago, it was not normal to have a tattoo or to be a homosexual. It was unthinkable to confront certain cultural norms, but what was abnormal then is now acceptable to many.

Does Normal mean:

1.      Forget who we are and what we want, working from nine till five every day at something that gives you no pleasure.

2.      Waking up each morning to a hysterical alarm clock.

3.      Keeping a smile on your lips even when you’re on the verge of tears. Saying ‘I’m sorry’ for crying.

4.      Following fashion trends.

5.      Be in a bad marriage and try to mend it.

6.      Normal dictates that you ought to be married by 30 with children, as time is running out.